Sunday, May 31, 2020

Contamination (aka diary of a pandemic in bullet points, or the things that go through my head…)

Contamination (aka diary of a pandemic in bullet points, or the things that go through my head…)

 

·         The internet gave me “the earth sent us to our rooms to think about what we’ve done” in reference to COVID-19 and I can’t stop thinking about what that means in so many dimensions
·         There’s so many people on this bus today but yesterday it was almost empty
·         I can’t touch anything and I feel contaminated
·         I am contaminated and the depth of contamination feels like we’ve all lost our souls
·         What is under that staircase oh geez two carts oh yuck wet cardboard and beer cans this is a nice spot crap it’s almost lunch time let me just get what I’ve got in the truck to the dump I’ll come back for the carts and those knocked over newspaper boxes
·         Fuck how am I going to fit everything in the truck what is this oh it’s a table ah I see against this tree it’s a makeshift bathroom oh thank goodness nothing much but dirty toilet paper
·         What’s the centering thought for today I think I fell asleep meditating again and are all the thoughts repeating a mantra even if they’re not productive
·         Crap I can’t get these newspaper boxes without a bolt cutter, they’re chained together
·         I think one of the saddest things is how no one will see the spring flowers this year we put out a lot of new bulbs in the fall and they’re so pretty now
·         Wow that tree is amazing, this is that Magnolia they planted last fall
·         I love this song
·         How am I going to stay six feet from them they’re walking toward me but that other person would be three feet from me if I move over
·         What do I do with that mail oh I guess I should do what we do at home I’ll do it tomorrow
·         I have to wash my hands again
·         Where is my lotion
·         My eye itches
·         Oh damn I don’t have a sharps container and that’s a lot of needles
·         There’s a cart with soil in it it’s full and should we call the police what might be in there besides just soil
·         Thanks for coming so fast no problem I was around the corner is there a place I can just dump this out yes here is good thanks oh man no dead bodies laughing but not really a lot of old trash and leaves with landscape fabric where could this be from
·         What is happening why won’t they back off I’m just trying to get off the train
·         Can I sit next to you no absolutely not do you know where a gym is no and if you see one that’s open you should probably call the governor
·         Oh my god what is happening and why am I feeling so reactive
·         I’m so glad and grateful to be home
·         This is a nice pace with the family at home
·         We can cook together and remember how to make things and do things for ourselves
·         What is money anyway and especially when you can’t even access anything, no way to get pick up or delivery
·         What is happening
·         This is nice all playing music together and now I have time to learn to play
·         Finally I understand the curse of interesting times I never understood why one might not like interesting times
·         Huh… pestilence is the first horseman of the apocalypse and it was originally a conqueror and sometimes interpreted as the return of Christ… disease as conqueror how interesting

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