Some Days

I never quite wake up all the way. Today was one of those.

I Have Had

This song in my head for the past 3 days.

And how about the old-school 80s style narrative video, starring Aubrey Plaza. I love her.

Getting There

I've been getting some time in the mornings just by myself, about 40-45 minutes while Brent takes Willow to her day camp. It's opened up a whole new way of being for me to have that time. Combined with the 90 day plan, I'm feeling more accomplished but also more relaxed at the same time.

Aggravation

The talking talking
Little cold raindrops prick prick
All over my mind

Today I

Got up, made lunch for Willow, got the girls on the trail-a-bike/bo-bike contraption and took Willow to school, rode home, made and ate lunch, rode to pick up Willow, came home, cleaned humidifier, organized the tea shelf, did a load of laundry, picked strawberries, made dinner, put the girls to bed, and vegged out with my sweetie.

The Process

I'm on day two of a 90 day plan Brent and I are doing: each night making a schedule for the day, and each evening noticing how we did. We're using email to keep track of our lists, and I think I'm going to make a schedule in the evening of what I actually did. So many things come up during the day, for example last night when I made my list I didn't include making Willow's lunch for day camp tomorrow. I used the word "notice", which is my intention. However, more often than not the noticing is laced with a lot of judgement, shoulds, and frustration. I want so much to have everything done, now. I know this process will help me let go of that, and even help me get more done... but the habit of focusing on the future, focusing on the result, is so ingrained. I keep taking another breath, and coming back, and another, and coming back, over and over again, this is the process.

Pumpkin with Blossom 2010

Renovation

As I've been going over my blog I've decided to add pictures in the body of each post, and remove the images and links in the sidebar over time, moving most of it into the bodies of posts. There may be some things I can't add that way, in which case might add them to a new page or delete it.

Hangin' With the Fam

At 88 Deli in White Center.

Ambition

"The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves."
- Pema Chodron

I have big ideas by which I am often overwhelmed. My reaction to feeling overwhelmed is generally to go into a tailspin of furious yet inefficient activity. For example, I'm very likely to be found emptying cabinets and wiping shelves in the middle of a kitchen full of dirty dishes. This weekend I'm going to make a daily schedule. It will be a sort of ideal day for each day of the week. I don't expect that I'll actually stick to this schedule accurately, but I'm hoping it will help me stay focused and free my mind by giving me an outline for the day. A morning song with the family, an affirmation for the day, and time for meditation and yoga will be part of this new structure. I'll be posting updates as things develop.

Ahhhh, Life.

The thrumming, drumming, heaving, furious, fiery, magnificent heart of life. Thank you, thank you, eternally yes, thank you.

Something

Presence

I've been struggling all day today to be in the moment, to let go of my to do list. But for some reason this morning I woke up with a list in my head and it chased me around the house all day, keeping me from just being with my family, enjoying a Saturday together. Well, now that it's almost 11:30 at night and I'm sitting in bed with my sweetie, I think it's time to move on and be in the moment with him.

Open During Construction

I'm experimenting with different layouts and templates for my blog. I only have short bursts of time to work on it, so you might be seeing different formats from day to day. I'm also going through and adding images for each post.

I'll Say It.

Vagina. Vaginavaginavagina. (Sticks out tongue in childish manner.)

http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattlepolitics/2012/06/14/two-michigan-legislators-say-vagina-then-silenced/

No There, There

There is not there. There is right here. Today is Thursday. On Sunday Brent, Willow, Grace, and I all went on a bike ride up to Carkeek park to celebrate a family friend's high school graduation.

We left the house at 11:45 and arrived at the picnic at around 4. We had hoped to get there closer to 2. It was an incredible day, filled with lots of beautiful scenery, excellent weather, awesome company and finally, good friends.

The past 4 days I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to post a slideshow of the trip to go along with this post. Sunday I enjoyed the real knowledge of being right here, in the moment, having fun, knowing that "there" never arrives, that there is nothing waiting there, because when you get there, you're already here. This four days of failed attempts, buggy widgets, disk clean up... has been the other side of that coin. Be here, right now, even if right now things are not as you would wish them to be. Even if what you want to happen, what you're trying to make happen, isn't happening. Let go, back off, be here with what life is offering you right now.

Of course, I haven't yet learned to back off or let go... as you can see by the link to the slideshow below. Enjoy.

No There, There

Bugs

Bugs bugs bugs.

Practice, Practice

For the past two days I've been trying to create and post a slideshow to go with a blog entry. But it's been so long since I've done a slideshow, I can't remember how. I wanted to have it done and online by now. But, instead I have to take my time, relax and enjoy the process.

More Tomorrow

Rosemary in Bloom with Bee

It was a long road getting Grace to sleep, and I have to pack a lunch for Willow's camp tomorrow morning. Stay tuned for a more in depth post tomorrow.

Best.Day.Ever

.

First Big Bike Trip

Tomorrow I'm heading out for an all day family bike trip, the first all day ride I've ever done with the girls. I used to ride my bike along the lake parkways growing up in Minneapolis, and some of my best days were spent that way, riding most of the day and playing at the lake.

Tomorrow we'll ride from West Seattle to Carkeek Park: 14.4 miles one way, not including the side trips we'll make to various spots along the way.

At Carkeek, we'll get to celebrate Willow's Godmother's daughter's high school graduation. I'm super proud and excited... I've known her since she was three years old. More about it all tomorrow.

Little Glitches

I wish I had taken a screen shot. My Facebook app on my iPhone was showing random different pictures of other people in place of my profile picture on my profile page, but only on my phone. So I knew it was a glitch just on my phone and not a hacked account or something. Turning the phone on and off didn't work, but uninstalling and reinstalling the app did work. I'm just fascinated by how these things happen though. It seems there are whole worlds of possibilities out there, lurking just under the surface.

Every Day

Yesterday I decided that I'm going to post an entry every day. It could be just a picture with a caption, or a whole article about environmental economics. Today it's a picture of a watermelon rind with seed flowers.