Friday, December 26, 2008

Not Pretty Enough

The title of this post is taken from one of my favorite Kasey Chambers songs. You can see the video here. Be patient, it takes about 20 seconds to load. When the video is over you'll need to press pause or navigate from the page, it loops automatically.

Some days I just feel fat and ugly, no matter what. It was such a day a few days ago, the day that Brent and I did our final Christmas shopping and I tried on a sweater I liked. I decided to buy it even though I thought I would look much better in it at about 15 pounds lighter. It is a red sweater, and I wanted to wear red this Christmas for some inexplicable reason. (Anyone who knows me knows I don't generally dress to be "festive", and I've been known to wear mourning clothes for Christmas.)

Anyway, that night Brent and I were surfing the web together in our Des Moines hotel room as dear Willow slept, and he came across a slide show "When Stars Have a Bad Day". Some of the shots are just normal aging, so whatever... some of them though are totally gross shots of women who have done way, way, way to much to try to look good (or just "partied" too much), ruining their bodies in the process. Check out #s 8, 13, 14, 17, 24, and 25 especially. These are some sad pics, especially, to me, a child of the 80's, the pictures of Madonna. I know it's kind of mean in a way, but if you are ever feeling fat and ugly, these are the pictures for you, guaranteed you will end the gawk session feeling better about yourself. And happy about the fact that you have not tried to lose weight to much, too fast. Or gotten to many lifts of whatever sort. Or worn your heels too high for too long.

But then I started feeling crappy about the sadness of it all. I loved Madonna in her heyday, and have always appreciated her scrappy attitude toward authority, including self-proclaimed authorities on fashion. She also had a real body, not chubby at all but muscular, gorgeous, tight, and real. You could imagine knowing someone, maybe even more than one, with a body like that. Now, she has taken on that look of a woman who is aging without grace, without acceptance, and possibly (seriously) without food. The picture of her in this slide show shows her looking, well, really anorexic. I am saddened by the apparent dissolution of her confidence. She was never an especially well balanced personality, being well known for her arrogance and intense hunger for fame, but to my teenage eyes she was tough, no nonsense, and didn't take crap from anyone, making her obvious faults very forgivable. But this picture shows her just looking sad, drained, worn out, spent, and done for. Ah, I do cry for you Madonna.


Gretchen said...

Wow--what a post-- I found the photo of Paris Hilton especially depressing in that here she was, looking good, and the photo on the inset zooms in on her bunion, most likely the result of wearing "fashionable" shoes at the expense on her comfort and foot health. Sigh.

As for Madonna, I feel for her too. After a divorce as messy and public as hers, no wonder she looks tired and spent.

Hugs from our house to yours.

Katie Kadwell said...

Hugs back! Yes, the Paris one was also very sad... makes me glad I never wore heels. Ach.